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One of the most common questions I encountered whilst I was working the floors of Apple retail was “How can I connect my non-airport-extreme Mac to connect to my wireless network at home/work?” Now depending on the make and model of the Mac they were referring to the majority of time you ended up telling the customer to look on eBay and alike because to actually *buy* an original airport card via Apple’s service parts scheme was ridiculously pricey and the idea of having a rather sightly ethernet cable for only $10 was looking more and more attractive with each passing second. Had I known then what I know now a lot of customer may have walked out of my fair little shoppe with a much happier feeling of Apple warmness and love in the world. ...

Anyone who has ever encountered me on the bus would know I am a real anti-social bastard. Music time is my time to escape the world. Naturally, a good set of headphones are an essential part of this process. As an owner of Apple's former In-Ear offering as well as an iPhone, I was very keen to see what the new model offered. Read on for the results.

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This review will be pretty simple as there's not much one can write about a laptop sleeve. You put your laptop in it. Ta-mother-fucking-da. That isn't to say there's some really shit or boring laptop sleeves out there, but there are some key criteria when it comes to laptop sleeves that I will now outline for your consideration:

Nice feel. You gotta hold this sucker, so you don't want it to be all itchy or feel gross. Particularly if you're like me and hate the feel of velvet/corduroy right after you've cut your fingernails. Or have a disposition towards clutching onto fabric with sweaty hands (an affliction that impacts many, do not laugh). If you're a greasy geek like me, how easy it is to clean and how vulnerable it is to stains is another important consideration.

Durable zip and stitching. Last thing you want is the zip to fail on you. Without a zip, the sleeve is useless, as the precious cargo will spill to the ground and you'll cry like a fucking baby because your precious laptop has a dint. This is not what you want. Unless you're a fuckwit who wants this to happen. Probably some sort of insurance scam you've got going I presume? I'm on to your dirty little game hombre. But anyways, a good zip is also easy to open and shut. You don't want a relatively simple process to become a struggle. You know when you're trying to open the condom packet in a dark bedroom and ...

So this is what my life has come to.

24 years old and I'm reviewing sex toys on the Internet. Not just on the internet, that's bad enough, but on a forum full of people who belong in the portion of society most likely to be virgins. My mother is proud me. Yes she is.

Okay, now, this item is called the Naughtinano and it is from the spiffy guys and girls at OhMiBod. It's a vibrator. A fake penis that rumbles. A "marital aid". If you're male, this thing is probably useless for you. Unless your into prostate stimulation. Even then, I'm not sure how this device would help, but if you want to buy it to try it out, fuck, who am I to judge? It keeps the economy going. Use that $1,000 bonus from the government to buy it with for all I care. It is a government "stimulus" after-all.

If you're one of the scarce females that reads MacTalk then GODDAMN today is your day. This review is for you ladies. Unfortunately, I was unable to find a woman-friend who would test the Naughtinano. Even when I told them it's purely for science, that I don't need to be in the same room (just close enough so I ...

Energy and persistence conquer all things.
-Benjamin Franklin

That quote is emblazoned on the side of the packaging of the 3G JUICE. It's placed there to make you think about how fantastic the product is, or to contemplate on the amazing piece of technology inside. Maybe the intention is simply to be a handy tip for life. A reminder that if you put enough energy (lol energy, it's a battery, get it?) and stick at something for long enough, that you will accomplish anything. A noble quote, totally, but if you read that quote, which, may I remind you, is written on the side of an iPhone battery box, you are a douchebag. If you don't know who Benjamin Franklin is, you're also a douchebag. If you liked that quote after reading it on the side of a box and don't know who Benjamin Franklin is, you're a velocodouche.

The 3G JUICE (in caps as that's how it's written on the blurb on the back of the box), is a rechargeable lithium polymer battery with a dock connector on it. Simple. Anything with a dock connector, the 3G JUICE can power. iPhones, iPods, iPod Touch, your mum. Wait, not the last one, she doesn't have a dock connector. Besides, she brings her own batteries.

Why does one need an extra battery for their iPod or iPhone? For the iPod, you probably want it because you're going on a long trip or plan to be somewhere where you can't charge your iPod for a while. The iPhone however, you will need if you plan on being outside for more than 3 hours. An exaggeration, but iPhone 3G owners know what I'm getting at. This is not Apple's fault or the iPhone's fault. Many things outside of Apple's control lead to poor battery life on the iPhone and hence, the need for a product like the 3G JUICE:

• 802.11g and 3G radio chipsets. 3.5" high res, bright, full colour touch screen.


• Battery in iPhone is thin as we like thin devices.


• iPhones are so damn good that we use them 24/7, ...

I'M SITTIN' THE HELL OUTTA THIS CHAIR.

Some of you nerdier types may have already heard of Sumo Lounge. They're pimped around nerd circles often (ala Penny Arcade, Something Awful etc.) as geeks have no respect for traditional furniture and relish the opportunity to be extremely comfortable whilst doing geek activities, such as reading, playing video games or munching on some Cheetos Cheese and Bacon Balls while watching an even-numbered Star Trek movie. If you haven't heard of Sumo Lounge, I welcome your fine Australian buttocks to a new world of comfort. Sumo have finally decided to sell their wares here in Australia via their website. Currently, only a single model of the Sumo Lounge range is available to us Australians - the Omni.

The Sumo Lounge Omni is pretty much a fancy bean bag. A big, fancy bean bag. With features that make it a modern, big, fancy bean bag. Everyone loves a good bean bag and as an expert fat-arse, lazy, geek, I have sat on many bean-bags in my time. The Omni is one ...

You that when, your one Macs. You unlike Macs, somebody the Macs.

That is the first word of each chapter in this book I am about to review. For some people that will be enough to judge this book on. For everyone else, take a seat, put your iPhone into airplane mode (if you don't know how to do that, then don't bother reading this review, buy the freakin' book already - you need it) and read on to see if these books are worth your hard earned pesos.

Wiley, a well respected book publisher lowered themselves to my level and took the risk to send me copies of their latest publication series, titled PORTABLE GENIUS. I assume this is a reference to the fact that Apple stores have GENIUSES and that books are PORTABLE, hence, PORTABLE GENIUS. Quite intelligent there Wiley. There's currently nine books in the series: Aperture 2, MacBook Air, MacBook, MacBook Pro, Final Cut pro, Macs, iMac, Mac OS X Leopard and iPhone 3G. Why each laptop needs it's own book is beyond me, but Wiley aren't dummies. They'll fly off shelves I'm sure of it. I was given the books about Macs and iPhone 3G. I did not ask for these, they were given to me. They assumed these were appropriate titles for me or the readership of MacTalk. Again, Wiley are very observant as I thought them to be quite appropriate for MacTalk too.

I will be honest and say I did not read these books cover to cover. For starters, I already know everything there is to know about Macs and iPhones. Reading these books would be like Bill Gates reading a book on how to make money. Futile. He is already rich. I did flick through it, ...

Leggo's Sweet Mustard Sandwich Pickles is a condiment. A condiment that isn't well loved.

It has been relegated to obscurity behind trendier condiments such as avocado spreads, or simply ignored for old favourites like tomato sauce or it's fancier, American mustard variety. In an attempt to learn more about the subject I am reviewing, I wanted to know the history behind it, however, the lineage of Leggo's Sweet Mustard Sandwich Pickles isn't exactly clear. I Googled for minutes and I failed find anything relating to the history of Sweet Mustard Sandwich Pickles, let alone Leggo's variety. It is such a neglected condiment, that no-one cared about it enough to create a Wikipedia article. Not even a mention in the main Mustard article. This review might enlighten you to it and spread awareness of this red-headed step child of the condiment world. ...